Refocusing on What's Important: Me

[This is NOT my house. Don't go there. I'm NOT there. Focus, people.]

Ruru the Cat here. My people keep letting the new neighbors into my house. I don't get it. Things were so peaceful (other than the jerky cats in the house, which is all of them but me). Now, they come here a lot and take up the spaces cats are supposed to occupy. And they're SCARY. They like to TOUCH us. And they don't even know us. What kind of monsters are these? 

[Not me. Stop losing focus. Source.]

Next thing you know, these neighbors will be bringing in their own cats, and my people will touch them and smell like them. I don't know what I can handle that kind of stress. These are my people, my hands, that are supposed to touch and play with ME, not other cats. There's too much competition around here as it is. 

[Where your focus should be: ON ME.]

You see, this is the way everyone's life should be focused: on me. Look how sweet and kind and pretty I am. And my fur is so silky and smooth. You're supposed to pet ONLY ME or ELSE.  Because I'm so nice, I will let you. I may even pur for you. I seriously don't understand why my people need anyone else.