Dumb Dog

So there's this annoying dog that insists she must be my guest blogger this week or else.  You see, I know and you now a cat like me is much more entertaining to listen to.  But this dog is so annoyingly persistent about wanting to write her own blog that I'll let her just this once.  Her name is Skittles, and she's my person's grandma's dog.  And she's really annoying.  Trust me.  But here she is.

Hi!  I'm Skittles!  I'm that cute one up above.  I'm way cooler than some dumb cat.  Even if I did stand in line behind her shyly, waiting to eat, when she was really tiny, I'm still way more awesome than any cat.  See, when I lived with Ruru and her crazy cat clan, I was really really shy.  I had just spent the first of my life living with scary dogs.  Here's one of them.  Look at that tongue.  She was usually licking the ground without bending over.  I mean, how creepy is that?  

 But I could handle her [sort of.]  the one I couldn't handle was this one.  I mean, I could have been her doggie treat at any time.  Why does anyone need a bull mastiff, anyway?  She was a HORSE not a dog. I'm really cute and little, a part poodle.  I have long legs, but I would curl up into a really tiny ball to hide from those scary dogs.  

After I left Ruru's house, I went to live with a sweet little old couple.  And I have them wrapped around my little toe.  Seriously.  I own that house.  I say jump, and they jump.  They complain about my refusing to eat anything that says dog food on the package [of course I can read; I can write!].  They whine that every time anything that moves and breathes comes down the block, I go nuts, barking, and want to chase them down the street.  Even the big ones because my ego has grown A LOT since I have learned I'm the center of these people's world.  They also complain that I will chew on anything that isn't nailed down if they're gone because I get anxious and lonely.  They also even complain that all I want is to be loved ALL DAY LONG.  I hear them complain about all of that, but I hear them doing that with adoration in their tone.  They LOVE me.  They were LOST without me.  I'm that awesome.  Okay, so I'm done.  That's it.  Back to you, stupid cat.  

Hey, this is Ruru again.  Really?  You call that a blog?  That's a BRAG, not a blog.  Show me to trust a dog with my blog.  Feel lucky that I don't erase it, silly Skittles.  I just want people to know cats are way better at blogging than some stupid dog.

What a real blogger looks like.