Babies and toddlers and dogs! Oh, my!

I can't imagine a worse event.  I really can't.  Ruru the Cat here.  A most terrible thing happened yesterday.  It was bad enough when those big people brought a toddler and a baby.  I mean, that was bad.  The baby's okay.  I can handle something that just sort of rolls around and squawks.  No problem.  A month ago, these same people brought the toddler and the baby here, and I survived it somehow.  The toddler thought it was fun to chase me around.  I figured out how to hide and avoid the monster called toddler.

No, it gets worse.  They brought a dog.  Not just any dog.  We have dogs, and they're okay.  They are about our size and snuggle us.  We've embraced them as honorary cats.  It's all good.  They sometimes chase one of us cats around, which is annoying.  But then they calm down again, and we're back to grooming each other.  No, this was a monster, big and black and scary.  Think boogie man but bigger.  With huge teeth.  I couldn't walk through my own living room because the thing took up half of the floor.  And one of us tried to snitch his food.  It was just a joke, really.  But then he growled and went for her.  Baby doesn't let the dogs around here pull their crap.  But what can you do when a mountain with teeth threatens you?  You just know you're gonna die.  They called him Ares and said that means god of war.  It sounds pretty scary, if you ask me.  Even Baby had to flee before his might.  I just stayed out of the way of both toddler and big, scary, mean mountain.  

Except then the people thought it would be funny to hold me against the toddler to get pictures.  I couldn't avoid the thing, and he thought it was pretty swell to snuggle me and attack me with his hands.  I thought that was threat enough.  Then they put me face to face with the barking mountain, and I thought I was going to die right then.  I think I lost years of my life.  It seems they did it to take pictures and laugh.  People are sick, you know that?